Pretty Again

—Testimony about a Sister’s Life Change

The Social Ministry of Dali Christian Council has been dedicated to the HIV/AIDS work for many years, including organizing the visits, group activites, Bible study and other educational activities for drug addicts, the HIV/AIDS people and their families. During these several years' work, there are also many moving stories, and the following is one of the beneficiaries' testimonies:

 

I was pretty, and my schoolmates selected me as “School Flower”, and my friends called me “Black Peony”. I once had a warm family and a dear daughter. Honestly speaking, I had a business mind and I would like to do business. After the reform and opening, I left my workplace and began to do business. I opened a clothing shop, a shoes shop, and a leather-bags shop. And the business went well. Money became more and more, while friends also becoming more and more no matter good and bad. Once a time, I had a stomachache and the medical test result turned out to be cholecystitis. My friends told me that it was fashionable to eat “white powder” (Heroin) for the rich, and it was also good to cure my disease. Kill two birds with one stone, why not? I was rich at that time and I really wanted to be more fashionable and cure my cholecystitis. The pain disappeared after two times of eating “white powder”. But I found that I was addicted to “white powder” and I turned out to be an addict. In order to afford the expensive drugs, I closed all my shops and spent all the money upon the drugs. When drug addition attacked, the whole body caught unbearable pain. All what I did was to reach drugs and drug. Though I received compulsory detoxification many times, there was little effect. And the body became worse. Eighteen years in a blink of an eye, the warm family was disappeared and my daughter ignored me.

 

I heard that intravenous drug would cause strange diseases. Fortunately, I used intravenous drug with syringe only once, and the syringe was used by my good friend. It was impossible to become abnormal, wasn’t it? When I saw all my addicted friends became ill, I also began to gurgle uneasy. One day in 2010, I decided to have a test in CDC to comfort myself. It was a great surprise that HIV test result told positive, and the news was like a bolt from the blue sky. It was too hard for me to accept the reality. I just felt my eyes dark. I wondered around Er-hai Lake with heavy steps, and tears blurred my eyes. I wanted to make an end in the lake. Then who would take care of my 90-year old mother? I went back home eventually. I cried everyday and didn’t know how to face my mother. She also didn’t what happened and how to comfort me.

 

One day in May 2011, I was invited to attend a particular activity with friend’s introduction. In fact, I had never taken part in any activities since I left the workplace. Just have a try! I would leave when I felt boring. In the activity, I heard “…No one respect us, and no one accept us, only discrimination from both the family members and the society. We are not lovely, but Jesus loves us. Jesus loves you, and he loves me…” Amen! I never put any one’s words in my heart in these years, but what Mr. Wu said touched my heart. And I was reluctant to leave here after the activity ended.

 

Since that I attend Bible learning group everyday to learn God’s words. Twenty brothers and sisters with the same experience learned the Bible together. I eventually found the need and satisfaction in deep heart here. And I was loved, accepted and respected here. Jesus’ love made me feel satisfied and peaceful and joyful.

 

One day in the end of last year, four of us planned to Baoshan Gospel Rehabilitation Center to know Gospel rehabilitation ministry. I had to have a test, but we would set out the next day. As a result, the doctor said that many indexes of the blood were not so good. And the doctor told me to prepare 100,000 CNY for hospitalization. I felt bitter and said to the doctor that I believed in Jesus and I needed two days to go to Baoshan. I promised that when I came back, I would go to hospital to accept treatment. On the road to Baoshan, my heart prayed with tears all the way to appeal to God’s treatment and purify my blood. I walked as slowly as possible staying at last to avoid to showing my miserable appearance in front of my co-workers. When I came back, I went to hospital and the doctor tested my blood again. And all the parameters that in need of treatment of my blood showed normal. The doctor said with smile, “Believe in your Jesus peacefully.” Suddenly, I kneeled down onto the floor with tears on my face and thanked Lord Jesus.

 

I was never aware of that I was a sinner and selfish and coldness. Because of my drug experience, my father died with angry, a warm family broken out, and I myself lived a bad life and took no care. I did not know that I ought to be sent to Hell for many times until Jesus found me. I prayed: I was such a sinner with heavy sins, and I was restricted with the evil power behind drugs and had no freedom. Jesus’ blood on the cross purified me and set me free and made me a re-born man. I was pleased and happy in Christ, joy replaced of my worry. I asked for Jesus’ helping hands and his treatment. And I wanted to receive my daughter’s reception and forgiveness when she knew that I was a Christian now.

 

When my daughter came back home in the Spring Festival of 2012, my appearance, my words and the sincere love from my deep heart as a mother and my story of believing in Jesus, all these touched my daughter. And she found the mother she was looking for.

 

O Lord! I thank you. Because you make me become a new person, become your princess. Today I can live with dignity again.

 

 


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